shy's journal

Insight

Outline

Preamble

In previous parts, I've discussed exclusively about how I've changed the way I conduct my life–rejoicing, giving and meditating.

A subtler change has also taken place: the way I view the world.

How do I make sense of the phenomena and events in my life? What's the cause of stress? How can I live with joy and ease? I'll answer these questions below, based on how I've digested Buddhist philosophy for my life.

Dependent arising

"One who sees dependent origination sees the Dharma. One who sees the Dharma sees dependent origination." - Majjhima Nikaya 281

When I hold up a piece of paper, what do I see? It is a white piece of paper. If I look at it closely enough though, I'll realize that it also has the tree "floating in it", because the paper could not have been here if not for the tree it used to be. Similarly, "floating in this paper" are sunshine, water and earth, which nourished and became part of the tree.2 I see an endless stream of causes that lead to this paper's existence. Why is this relevant? Because nothing is independent in this world. Everything is interdependent on something else. All existence arises because of something else. This understanding is dependent arising, or dependent origination. Once we understand dependent arising, we'll understand the Buddha's teachings as a whole.

Take my body for example. I am dependent on the food and nourishment I have consumed. My body right now is an accumulation of all that food and moisture. Without them, I'll have no body. I am also dependent on my parents for having given birth to me. Without my parents (or my grandparents and their parents and so on) there could not have been me. There are many other subtle ways I am interdependent, like how every breath I take is a transaction with the universe. Without this constant exchange of air, I'd be dead!

Impermanence

Because everything arises only because of its causes, they are fragile and prone to change. After all, these causes can change and disappear. Once they do, the thing no longer has the causes to support it, and it fades.

Consider my life. The fact that I am breathing pleasantly right now is because my body is healthy. However, it need not be that my organs are functioning properly. If my lungs start failing, I'll not be taking comfortable breaths any longer! In fact, I know my bodily functions will fade as I age and approach death. When that happens, I'll no longer exist. With birth, comes aging and death. With arising, comes change and fading away.

When I was at the abbey, the bunch of us at the retreat got really close. As we neared the end of the week, we started getting emotional as we knew we'd likely go our separate ways. The fact that we were able to come together was thanks to the retreat which colocated all of us. However, those causes would also fade. The fact that you know something only exists due to its causes means that you also know the recipe for its destruction–to remove the causes. In our case, the end of the retreat marked the end of our interactions at the abbey. From dependent arising, you reach a simple conclusion: everything changes. It's only a matter of time. For our lives, we know there's always a natural limit of death.3

Everything changes. I thought I'd just say that again.

The Three Poisons: Attachment, Aversion, Ignorance

Changing to the next topic...

So, why do we suffer?

(Alternatively, why do we experience stress? Not everyone might admit to suffering, but everyone can probably recall stress.)

Fundamentally, we suffer because we cannot see reality clearly. This is summarized into three reasons: attachment, aversion or ignorance. I understand them as such:

If we eliminate all of the above poisons from our minds, we will be happy and peaceful. However, doing so is really hard! Think about all the times you've craved delicious foods. That's attachment. When you are on a constant quest for delicious foods, you're stressed. What if you were eating bland foods for days on end? Maybe in those situations, you'll experience aversion–I want this food to not be bland! That's another way you'd feel stressed. I use this example because I love food.5

We often mistakenly believe pleasures of the five senses give us happiness, but they are unstable and stressful in reality. Because they change! When you premise happiness on something that's fundamentally changing and unstable, how can you not be stressed?

To maintain a stable happiness, base it on something stable. You don't have to look very far outside of you to find it. You can access it easily if you just look at the here and now. The reality is constantly presenting itself to you, and constantly present. The truth of the reality is stable. It's a matter of whether you are willing to see it.6

Is the goal therefore just to accept things as they are?

Yes, and no. Yes–for your peace and happiness, do see and acknowledge reality as it is.7 There's the temptation of "delulu is the solulu", but that's not conducive for lasting happiness.8 You can think of countless examples here.9

No–if you think "accept" means there is nothing you can do about the situation. There is always something you can do. You always have the freedom to choose how to respond.10 In fact, seeing clearly into the causes, the interdependence, and the reality of things helps you respond effectively11.

I'm often confronted with social justice issues. It's one thing to feel anger and grief, be at war with life and wish for things to instantly improve. The pain is so deep, why can't it be gone now? It's another to feel anger and grief, be at a certain distance from the emotions arising from attachment, aversion and ignorance, acknowledge the issues and respond in ways that are conducive to change. After all, everything changes. All existence arises for reasons that are also reasons for its downfall. If something exists, there are causes. If you remove those causes, it'll cease to exist. Because everything changes, they can also change for the better.12

Two stories

I want to close this section off with two stories. I find them useful in thinking about the mental burdens I hold onto in life, and hope they are instructive in helping you move forward with greater joy and ease too.

"Thinking about it is hard. Pushing is easy."

The first story is by Ajahn Brahm about his time in Thailand. Once, when Ajahn Brahm was training as a monk, he had to push wheelbarrows 8 hours a day in very hot and humid conditions, replete with mosquitoes and dirt. Since he didn't grow up in the tropics, he felt especially indignant about his situation. He thought it was so unfair that senior monks could be sipping tea, while the junior monks had to labor through difficult chores. One day, he got so fed up that he started swearing. He thought if he swore in English, the Thai monks wouldn't understand him! Nonetheless, it was clear he was upset, so, a monk, whose name he's now forgotten, came up to say, "Thinking about pushing the wheelbarrow is the hard part. Pushing is easy." As the monk's advice sank in, it clicked. It was the endless thoughts in his mind about the unfairness and unpleasantness of his situation that made him miserable. Compared to that, the actual act of pushing the wheelbarrow was fairly easy. As soon as he stopped thinking the negative thoughts and just pushed the wheelbarrow, the wheelbarrow got much lighter.

Two Zen monks

The second story is told by Sadhguru about two Zen monks.13 There were two Zen masters, Huitti and Nbanin. One day, Nbanin wanted to test if Huitti was really a Zen master and asked Huitti, "What is Zen?" Huitti immediately dropped the sack he's been carrying all day and stood up straight. Nbanin then asked, "What is the goal of Zen?" Huitti picked up the sack and walked away. Spiritual training urges us to let go of our burdens and be free, so that when we pick them up again, they feel like no weight at all.

I've linked the original sources here and here. I urge you to read them too for richer details and superior explanation.

"Don't believe it just because I said it"

There are other subtle things, like past lives and rebirth, that I believe now.14 However, I won't go into them because I can't explain the exact mechanics. When you delve into spirituality, there's a whole world of claims that many think you have to take by "faith". I don't think so. In fact, something I appreciate about Buddhist thought is that the Buddha explicitly tells you not to take him by faith.

"Do not go upon what has been acquired by repeated hearing; nor upon tradition; nor upon rumor; nor upon what is in a scripture; nor upon surmise; nor upon an axiom; nor upon specious reasoning; nor upon a bias towards a notion that has been pondered over; nor upon another's seeming ability; nor upon the consideration" - Kalama Sutta15

Rather, the Buddha urges his disciples to investigate for themselves, to see if the teachings are true through logic and direct experience. Do they make sense? Do you see it in your life? Do the teachings make you more joyful? Do they make your life easier? Are they beneficial and helpful to you? If they are not, abandon it! Why hold on to teachings that are not helpful for you?16

For me, the teachings on dependent arising, attachment, aversion and ignorance have been useful, so I write them here in hopes that some of it might resonate with you. No worries if they don't. There are plenty of teachings in the world, and if we care about the truth of the reality, your lived experience is a big part of your reality.


(See Parts 3 & 4)

  1. Dharma refers to the teachings of the Buddha.↩

  2. I highly recommend watching this video by Thich Nhat Hanh whom I stole the analogy from and whose explanation brought me to tears. I also recommend this video to supplement it.↩

  3. I recently had this conversation with a friend that if you lead life with "everything changes" as a premise, it's really profound. I agree. I'm also reminded of how people in the past liked having moments mori paintings at home, to remind of themselves of a consequence of this reality.↩

  4. In fact, now that we've discussed dependent arising, a natural antidote is to know that this thing will actually be gone, just not by your dictated timeline (if it doesn't conform to reality!). This is another way of understanding "this too shall pass".↩

  5. Loving food is very natural by the way. Food is necessary for self-preservation. The goal is not to give up on food (you'll die!), but to eat food in a less compulsive way. If I can eat neutral-tasting food and still feel joy, eat tasty food and still feel joy, and eat "bad-tasting" food and still feel joy, isn't that a profound joy and freedom?↩

  6. And one aspect of the reality you'll quickly realize is that everything is interdependent and changing.↩

  7. Why should you care about happiness and peace by the way? (Another way I like to put it is joy and ease.) I thought about this a lot. In today's world, I think we have some maturity and understanding that suffering is part of life and can even make our lives more meaningful. We have the understanding that all emotions have their place, and we should not just optimize for happiness. That is true. I think "happiness" is a crude term for lack of a better expression. When you're appreciating and acknowledging the ups and downs of your emotions, that's part of recognizing reality too. In talking about "happiness" and "peace", I think it's useful not to see them as emotions, but as a quality of goodness in your life, whatever you think of when you think of what's beneficial. I think we all have an intuitive understanding for that, whether it's in the language of "health", "well-being", "balance", "harmony", "pleasantness", and so on.↩

  8. If you've been following so far and are sharp, you might realize that "lasting happiness" doesn't exist. I use "lasting" metaphorically, and relatively. Presumably, Nirvana is beyond happiness and unhappiness altogether, but I won't delve into that here, as I don't quite understand it.↩

  9. The ones I think of are relationship ones... 😂↩

  10. In the words of Viktor Frankl, “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”↩

  11. Response does not necessarily mean action. Sometimes, inaction is the wisest response. I say this not because I think people should do nothing about the problems in life, but rather for completeness and for not sounding misleading as if the only valid responses are the ones that actively "do" something.↩

  12. And it can also change for the worse... Which is why samsara is often described as a cyclical wheel. To understand this better, I recommend reading The Two Faces of Reality by Ajahn Chah. I've found it so useful that I've read it over and over again.↩

  13. A little teaser on future parts where I explore modalities for spirituality beyond Buddhist practice 😉↩

  14. I think they are more likely to be true than they are likely to be false.↩

  15. In this sutta, the Buddha was trying to explain to the Kalamas, a group of people, who were confused about the multiple ideologies propounded by various gurus at the time.↩

  16. Different people receive different teachings differently, in the same way that the same sentence might be interpreted by many people in multiple ways. If the way you receive a teaching is not helpful for you, that's okay. The truth is the same, and is there no matter what we say. Maybe other teachings describing the truth in another way will make sense to you instead.↩